Full Time Slacker

I can’t figure out what to start writing about, where to begin, so I’ll start with my favorite subject – me. I quit my job. My full-time paying job. I still have my other volunteer gig where I throw food and insults advice at my children (with love of course) and wash dishes and do laundry. But now I’m even forced (with love of course) to mop floors and clean bathrooms because I had to let go of my house cleaner due to my lack of paid employment. It’s so cyclical man…

Almost makes me want to go back to work. Almost.

I had grandiose plans about quitting and what I would do with my new found freedom. There was the novel I would write, how much I would work out, how much weight I would lose – which would equal the same rate of the expansion of my consciousness and overall zen. I even went to the library and placed requests for no less than 20 self-help books.

So far, I’ve cleaned the house a few times and can no longer force my butt out of bed before 10am. I was working out daily, but I’ve been out of commission for a few weeks. No biggie… I know I will be able to hop right back into a two hour kickboxing class barely missing a breath or beat. Yeah right…I love how it takes 17 months to get into some sort of shape and 3 days to lose it. I’ve read none of my new self-help books, but I did finish a fabulous memoir about an alcoholic. I decided to start small and with something I could easily relate to.

As far as my overall awesomeness of spiritual utopia expansion,  I’ve unsubscribed from a few million stores on my email and decided I really need to edit my closet. Whew…I can feel the self-actualization sweeping over me. I’ve also caught up on some television shows and can now call the couch my new desk. Ass expansion, not mind.

But I’m seriously getting some mad sleep…and my email inbox is going to be cleeeeaaaann. Feel the sanctity of my zeal. Maslow, I can see the world from the top of this pyramid. Dr. Wayne Dyer, I am all good intentions. And new toilet paper roll, I am so picking you up and putting you on the roller. You will no longer sit there on top of the old one. It’s a new day and I’m making it happen! As soon as I get up from my second nap…

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One response to “Full Time Slacker

  1. YEA!! You’re back !

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