Not much humor and bound to piss off many….

We recently moved from a small town in Central Florida to better opportunities for our children and for our ourselves. Or what we  perceived as such. You see this will offend many I’m sure, and it is not a bite or a slight to the many, many  people in Georgia we know and love but here goes…

This is the most prejudice, hate filled group of people hiding behind a Christian fish that I have ever seen in my life. I’ve  lived in the Northeast, out West and in the deep South. Oh the South, the land of hospitality and good manners but only on the surface. Behind this facade lies seemingly ingrained thoughts of perceived manliness and attitudes harking back to the Dark Ages.

My middle son is losing new, and a little old (if you count a few months) friends because he refuses to fight another child. This  began because my son stood up for a girl who was being ridiculed. Now this would seem to be the right thing to doespecially in the South – but in his raising we forgot to teach him of the hate and vile children can bring to the table.  We forgot to teach him, as we struggled to pay for a small private Montessori school, even though his parents were non-violent people and he was in a safe environment where words were brought to the table versus fists, that honor in the South still harked backed to the days of The Hatfield vs. McCoys and the North vs. the South. Or maybe I’m to down on the South and need to be down on parents everywhere, parents clueless about Facebook and what it can entail, clueless that as you sit in a church pew your child is figuring out how to taunt another child and clueless overgrown children (fathers) who think their kids are only as good as their fists.

Maybe I am blaming the South unfairly, and maybe I shouldn’t be blaming any region of the country. Maybe I should be looking a lot closer to home, at myself and my husband for not insisting our children play football, not insisting our color is better than anyone else, for not telling them that indeed war is the answer to issues, for not telling them that religion is a good thing — but only if it’s ours. We should also blame ourselves for teaching our children to stick-up for others who are being pushed around, that all life regardless of religion or color or economic standing should be valued. Yes, I guess it is our fault. Hopefully we will learn and do a better job with our daughter.

Our supposed move to a swim-tennis community with manicured lawns harbors behind closed doors a step back in time. The kids will say “Thank you” and “Yes ma’am” but they also think the world begins and ends at University of Georgia. They think everyone in Brazil lives in a hut and the big city of Atlanta has people of another color waiting to rob you blind. These are the “great schools”? Maybe I’ve just simply described Suburbia? The place we all run to thinking it is the best for our children.

I am not saying this doesn’t happen everywhere; I know it does. But then somehow we’ve all screwed up. Badly. And we all will have to live with the consequences our ignorance has wrought. In the meantime if anyone is interested in purchasing two homes in the land of cotton, please feel free to drop me a line.


5 responses to “Not much humor and bound to piss off many….

  1. I too lament the lack of civility, not just in the South, where we(they)do hide behind “good manners”and “christian love”. Schools cannot discipline and parents WILL not.Today bullying can be 24/7 thanks to the many internet capabilities.And what does it say about parents who brush this off with “boys will be boys” and ” go ahead and fight and then they’ll back off” or the ever present “my son/daughter wouldn’t do that”.Parents, have you actually checked their facebook, have you asked them if it’s true…DO YOU CARE. ..are you so busy” being” busy,making money to have more that you don’t have the time or want to take the time to really address this.The country is fighting two horrible wars and yet we think that a “little violence” is the way to settle disputes between children ages 11-13 ?How terribly sad for our children, our country and our way of life. Wake up people, this is serious and needs serious discussion and then we need to DO something !! We are trying to make a better life for our children, is this the way to accomplish that? Is it really how you want your children to behave and think ? Your religion, your gated communities, your holier than thou attitudes won’t stop this “new” and more dangerous bullying. You have to take part in talking to your children about this.

  2. I agree it’s 100% at home, and it’s the community in general. It’s funny b/c this was the topic at church today (oddly enough). We as a society have set the bar so so so very low that it’s now ok to be shitty to eachother. Today was all about kindness, and being kind to one another. Is it that difficult to smile and mean it? To be nice to our spouses? To take time for our children? To help out a stranger…well no can’t do that b/c some psycho may be waiting around the corner b/c he wasn’t raised right. Maybe if we (myself included) all stopped being so damn busy and judgemental, we could all live the way we should. It’s not ok for kids to be like this to one another. Nor should it fall to the schoolboard for a remedy. These parents need to get off of their asses and parent their kids. It’s really that simple. I realized not long ago I wasn’t parenting Mia. We just chalked her behavior up to being her personality (which incidently is like mine). Well guess what I started parenting her and she’s a different kid…..gee go figure. If these parents are looking for a fight they should take a good long hard look in the mirror. Oddly enough another service comes to mind of the recent past. Put the rock down, take the plank out of your eye. Whatever however you want to spin it. Worry about yourself and your family. If we all took care of what’s going on in the home, our world wouldn’t be like this. It really shouldn’t be that hard to love one another. Or even to just care the slightest bit about a stranger walking down the street.

    Good for Skyler for standing up for this girl. If the kids walking away from him are not his friends then they never were….and really do you want him hanging out with them if that’s how they really are. It’s insane what we allow as acceptable behavior in this world..It’s not ok to treat one another like this. I HATE that Alexis is starting school on Monday for this very reason. I dont’ want her involved with kids who haven’t been parented and think this is acceptable behavior. It’s crap.

    • I was being judgmental and stereotypical. I am angry, but I also believe the world is full of beautiful people and they outnumber the bad. The bad are just so damn loud! But you are one of the people I mentioned that I love!!

  3. Beautifully put Shel! Tell your son I think he’s cool for standing up for the girl and putting up with these other kids for it!

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