I have been reading various blogs for years, but never had the cojones time to write my own. Recently it has become clear, either I express myself and do something I enjoy instead of just work, laundry, cleaning and chauffeuring or I run down the street with a toilet brush in my hand, collapse on my knees and scream, “WWWHHHYYY?” (Yes, I stole that scene from a movie…but it rings so true in my mind, minus the death and carnage.) Plus I’m not sure how this fits into our Homeowner’s Association by-laws, do I need to ask permission of my neighbors to have a public breakdown?
Why “Parenting from the Couch”? No, it’s not because I spent 10 years with 2, then 3 children, getting a BS degree in Psychology (I can’t tell you how much this degree has increased my earning power — insert lightening strike). No, it’s not because I spent years time “on the couch” with various licensed mental health professionals. It’s because in my own perfect utopia, I would be able to lounge on the couch all day, drift in and out of consciousness, get up for the occasional snack jog while my children rub my feet, confess their admiration for their mother and recite poetry or their latest thesis on world peace.
Instead I walk around my house and sometimes pick up shoes, dirty socks (a whole blog post in itself), dirty dishes, empty bags of chips and then sink into my couch, yell gently command my children to finish their homework and wonder why I was not chosen as Anthony Bourdain’s sidekick.
Let’s hope this blog keeps me sane and allows some kind of cathartic healing for a life that never was…Plus my couch is getting torn to shreds and my kids have resorted to wearing ear plugs.
Next Post: Why must a trip to Target cost me a $100 for a tube of toothpaste? Deep stuff.